Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
