you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
