nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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