We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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