i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
