I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i think my mom watched the whole time
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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