nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
