the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
two words...techno handjob
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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