have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
