I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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