dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
