I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
