I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
