I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
