allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
