I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize