Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
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