she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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