I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
