I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize