She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
