this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
