me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
