YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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