piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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