After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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