The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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