I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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