Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize