I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
