So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
