He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
