Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
