It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
