im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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