We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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