She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
