fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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