My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
