I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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