Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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