like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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