and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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