How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
