so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
