when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
