Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize