Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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