mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
