there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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