The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Help. Why am I so naked?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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