Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
