Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
