I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize