Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
