you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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