oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize