One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
