I love black thongs
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
