EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
