Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
