wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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