i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We are two peas in an std pod
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
