If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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