I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
