lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize