what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this just has baby written all over it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
