I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
