Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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