I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
