it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
