His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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