Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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