he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
