I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
