put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize