i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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