Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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