she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize