Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
