i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
