and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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