I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I still have a little drunk in my system
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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