Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
